Looking Forward: Don't push the river, it flows by itself

I had some time at work today, nothing new, so I decided to see when all my guy friends were getting home from their missions: Issac (August 3), Alex (September 21), Ben (October), Jake (February 22), Cody (January 13), Benji (March 17), Austin (March 10), Ben Graff (May 4), Bitters (July 7), Rylee (September 8), Dallin (August 25, 2013) :). That's when they left at least. Then I was looking around at facebook and saw one of Adam's friends from High School. She has like 4 kids now! This made me think, and I feel like I'm just rushing through life. I always talk about "when I'm married" or "once Dallin is home". It is such a waste of time. I have always held the attitude "when this happens, I'll be happy." Bull crap. Ha that's not how it works and I'm just realizing it now. I had a flash forward, if you will, to when Dallin gets home. And I'll be excited, but I don't have to think about it until it gets here. Wishing sooner is only making me unhappy now. I'm in college for 4 years of my entire life and I want to enjoy it...I'm not sure how haha but I want to live up this time in my life! I am so sick of waiting for things to happen instead of loving what's happening now! I have always planned, and looked to the future but rarely do I live in the present. So, that's my new goal. Because I am already going nuts thinking about Dallin being gone and it doesn't have to be like that at all. I think about how fast the guys from high school got back from their missions. They all have been out a year at least and I am impressed with how fast the time has gone. I feel like it has been a long time but it went faster than I expected haha despite my own belief Dallin will get home from a mission eventually. I will get married sometime, but until then I don't want to plan or think about it too much.