My life has become one with someone else, which in a way feels like a new life. I didn't know why but pre-married Goo seems really different from post-married Goo, and it's literally been a month and a half. It's like I passed into a whole new world, and I'm starting to learn things all over again. I have only been born into this world once, and I don't remember what it was like, but I imagine it is similar to what I am feeling now. I know who I am. I am a daughter of God and I have immense potential, but why is that so hard to remember when I put a cup of oil in the waffles instead of 1/3 cup? It's like learning to walk all over again. I'm learning who this new person is, and sometimes it's easier to get frustrated when I know I can do better. It just comes down to the fact that I am experiencing a new way of life, and it will take time to get my feet under me.
I'm learning to talk again too.
I couldn't hold it in anymore. I was mad and I needed to tell someone. Before, my roommates would be waiting at the door to hear about my day and the ups and downs. They would even have a few stories of their own to share in response. I knew what was coming with girls. I had that pre-marriage life down. But now I don't have that anymore. Luckily when I get on a estrogen overload, my new other half can see through my irrational thoughts. We are building the kind of person that help each other and don't settle for just consolidation in hard times. And now I'm learning to talk, and talking feels so much better.
I'm learning to trust those around me.
It has never been my strong suit to follow. After waiting 2 years you learn a sense of independence. I can do things by myself. I am the only one that can do this job the best way. But I am learning quickly that I can't, and I don't have to. After I fall over and over again, I realize that I can't do everything by myself. Then comes the saving grace of my husband. He picks up the load and lets me rest from my burdens. I have to let go of the doubt that my independence is screaming at me. He can handle my load.
We are learning and growing together. We are becoming one.
Love,
The Littlefield's
Love,
The Littlefield's
