About You in 2011 :)

-This is last years about you, I will write a new one each year.

Hey best friend! Glad you are interested in what you can learn about yourself! I would say you and I are sincere with other people and mostly with yourself. Let me explain, I sometimes play this game with myself where I don't think I can handle as much as I really can. I let myself slack off because I think I can't do it anymore instead of pushing through it. I can work on that. So, I also think I am very confident and outgoing! Once I came to BYU I was challenged with this. But, I've come out knowing that people like me and want me to be their friend so gotta just believe it myself. I am super funny haha :) to myself at least. I think I'm pretty legit. It's not like I don't have insecurities but I know that regardless of my downfalls I still have so much value and potential and beauty that hard things don't seem to be over bearing as they do to others. I remain hopeful and confident when trials come. Hopeful...Dallin Chad is my greatest example of hope. We've gotten in some sticky mud and he's always been able to pull us out and keep pushing. No matter what happens with me while he's on his mission I will forever be grateful towards him for teaching me hope. He also has taught me to keep trying. :) Well enough about him more about me right! haha jk so obsviously Dallin is my boyfriend, Chelsea Dalton is my best friend and my roommates (who I LOVE) are Vanessa, Paige, Kim, Kristy and Kirsten! My life is surrounded by the coolest people ever! Including my awesome family :) as of right now Stephani is the only one married and has been for the past year to a way awesome guy Pablo! Kim will probably be next to marry to Jesse Barton and shortly following that Adam I am sure will jump on the band wagon with his girl Amy. So...basically before Dallin gets home everyone will most likely be married so...cool :/ blah. Chelsea will be married to Alex too. And if all of this doesn't work out like I said...I'll be very surprised! Welcome to life right? haha And I can't even start to talk about my family without mentioning the very people who brought me into this lovely world. Mom and Dad of course! I love em, what more can I say! Dad is trying to remain involved in his kids life in everyway he can :) and mother is loving each of us like always! And my Father in Heaven. I still don't comprehend how much he loves me and don't know if I ever will, but the small understanding I have of it so far is enough to blow my mind. He is incredibly merciful. I have felt it's over and he sends angels to comfort me. He never gives up on me and knowing that pushes me forward. I was asked to set my priorities in church, so if I could choose it would be Church, Family, School, Relationships...truthfully it goes Relationships, Family, Church, School. So we'll have to work on that :) I look forward for the future. I've got a bright and happy future ahead if I continue trying my best to obey my Father in Heaven. I love ma life!

It's a New Year!

I am way excited for this next year! I have a feeling a lot of great things are going to happen. I hope to fall in love, begin to become the person I've always wanted to be, and make a lot of new friends! My new years resolutions are taking a picture everyday, writing in my journal everyday, and not eating any chocolate. So far so good! This is the year I won't see Dallin at all. And I have a very positive attitude about it! In February, next month on the 26th it will be 6 months since he has left, 1/4 of the way through his whole mission! It's going by fast! I am counting in 6 month marks! Which are clearly going by way way fast! I am feeling really positive about life right now! Money is really tight, but I have so much to be grateful for. Heck, I am grateful for being grateful! I have direction and passion and love in my life, and a lot of people are lacking in all three. I am really happy. I think a year from now, I will basically be the same but hopefully just more on the ball with things. I think keeping a journal will be good to help me see my growth. Well, there is a lot to be happy about. I hope to help those around me see the beauty in their life as well. I think even the small things that could upset your whole day can be change with the attitude, it will all work out in the end, just keep working. I am so happy :)

I wanted to write Dallin a letter but I don't think I should write him two so I will put it to good use and put it on here :)

Elder

I am sorry you had a rough week…actually I am sorry every week seems to have some really hard lows, but I hope you know I am very proud of you. I am so happy you always keep trying, that is something I just love about you. You never give up and even more than just enduring you continue to want to grow and ask for more hard times because you understand what they do for you. You are really smart and I know God is so pleased with the work you are performing out there. Keep it up!
So about this companion ha by the time you get this he will basically be gone so I don’t really have much to say. But, I am glad you had a hard companion that way “if we get married’’ and heaven forbid I ever get on your nerves I’ll just refer to this companion and you will worship me like a God! Haha seriously I am sure some day you will look back and laugh and appreciate the time you had with him. I talked to my mom about it and she nailed it right on the head acutally. She said “Usually when someone is hard and cold like that it is because they have gone through something really challenging, and it’s really important to love them because they are the ones that need your love the most.” So maybe these last couple days with him you can just love the crap out of him! You are really good at serving and loving so you probably already do things but really go above and beyond.
Um…so I still don’t know what you like to hear about….I am doing fine woohoo it’s my birthday! I am no longer a mere teenager! Haha I didn’t feel like one before anyways but I guess now my age is catching up to me! For my birthday I got new boots and tires and my parents are helping me with tuition…yay for growing up! My mom and I are going to festival of tree’s as usual and then probably dinner. So…I might take off next semester and just work then go to school in the summer at BYU Hawaii (if I get accepted of course). It’s actually kind of stressing me out what to do…I don’t want to take time off because of money because once I graduate I will be making a LOT more than right now and I can pay it off quicker then…unless I get married and I have to be someone’s sugar momma ;) anyways…I have been praying pretty hard about what to do. So from here I’ll go with the flow and follow my gut. God will let me know what to do I am very confident. Another thing I have been thinking about lately is going on a mission. I still have a year but really only 9 months and I’ll start preparing now no matter what. You never can learn to much about the gospel right! Haha to be honest the only reason I wouldn’t is because of you…and if the spirit told me not to. But I will also just go with the flow and make the decision when it is closer. I was hoping actually once you got on your mission you would change your mind about not waiting for me and say I had to go because it’s so fun haha I don’t think you’d say it’s fun now though. I have noticed my thinking is expanding on the possibilities of what I can do! I want to travel really bad. Like go on a study abroad or go to school at Hawaii or a mission. It’s different now that I don’t have someone tying me back and I feel as long as I keep moving around the less chance I have of getting tied down again because I want to be here when you get back!
For thanksgiving I went to Blanding. We went and saw Indian ruins it was fun. Ugh I could write to you all day but I want a response so I better get off so you can wish me happy birthday and tell me how much you love me haha Keep up the good work! I really do love you and I am really proud of how hard you are working! Tell Elder Nembaware hi and bye for me :)

Goo

Rules are for Fools!

Ugh, Dallin wants to obey the rules, thank heavens! I wouldn't like him any other way! But now we can't email every Monday. It takes 18 days through pouch to get a letter and right now I am frusterated anyway because along with saying he can't email, he also said "It doesn't make a difference to me, but she might have a hard time with it"....what is that suppose to mean! I look forward to our emails but apparently it doesn't make a difference to him, so I have some repenting to do...

He's Not the Leaving Kind

Welp my bestest friend in the whole world left for Africa no big deal :) I got to the airport almost an hour before the Littlefields which wasn't a big deal I was able to see a lot of the guys Dallin would be serving with! They all looked really sincere and nice, just like Dallin. We got all of his stuff checked in and then took some pictures. We went upstairs to security and said our good-bye's. No one was crying until his dad saw him hug his mom for the last time and he lost it. Then his mom saw his dad crying and she lost it. Dallin got his crying face on but held tough. I could tell he wanted to cry though. It was interesting to see how he handle all of it. I am so glad I was able to go to the airport with them! He definitely isn't the leaving kind. It was hard for him, but I couldn't help but be so excited for him. What an adventure! I cried before and after but I wanted to leave him smiling, and despite my stubborn effort to not break the missionary rule, we gave a last hug, thank heavens. I hope I never forget what Dallin hugs are like :) basically there the best! So we waited till he got all the way through security and I went home. Yesterday felt like the longest day of my life. Everything I saw reminded me of Dallin but it was also interesting because there was a new spirit with me. One of comfort and strength. The Lord is helping me no doubt. After work and everything was over I went to the temple with my old roommates Vanessa and Paige. That was also a big blessing. I felt the spirit strongly that the Lord is taking care of him. I feel so blessed. I kind of see it all like when an old person get's so old they can't live anymore. When they pass you can't help but feel happy because you know it's there time. I know it was Dallin's time to go. We both have been waiting for this ever since we started dating and if feels good to be on the count down now, even if it is 24 months.

And an update! Dallin called his mom today around 12 to let them know he got there safe! He has an African companion and everyone in his room is African. He sounded tired and said everything is really different there. It will be really hard for him, but Dallin is pretty tough. He can do it and what doesn't kill him will only make him stronger. He is going to grow so much and I can't wait to get my first letter from him! I think I will send one to him first though, he probably doesn't have my address. I don't know when I will send it. I want to bide my time so I don't get too attached to writing letters. I want to live my life still.

I have noticed a weight sort of lifted off my shoulders. I feel like I have been waiting for this for a long time and in a way it has held me back in progressing. I look forward to this school year and working hard on myself and serving others. Every time I do something good I feel more power being recovered to me. When I read my scriptures and go to the temple I feel stronger and closer to Dallin. It is a really nice way to feel like I am doing my part with him being gone. Welp I think that's enough ha

1st Radio Broadcast by Jessica Black!

Holy camolee! That was the scariest thing ever! I wish I could have listened to myself. Okay well today at 7:30am I did the news for Classical 89 Radio. It turned out pretty good. So far I guess I need to relax, put more diction and emotion into the stories, and realize I am actually talking to someone. My mind was racing so fast for the 3 minutes I was on but i

t turned out great! I've got a lot of work to do but it's fun and I love my new job!

Also, Chelsea my very best friend is staying with me.

I feel kinda bad because she got here late and then

I had to wake up crazy early and by the time I get back she'll be gone so basically she's just sleeping in my house, but tonight we are going to play which I am stoked about!

I have started writing my application essay for applying for the Communications major.

Whew it is way hard to write these days. The summer has definitely taken it's toll on me! I can't get 300 words out to save my life! I'll get there eventually and then I'll have Natalie Tripp (who just graduated from the major) look it over and

give me suggestions! Oh lots and lots has been going on with school starting.

I went to the mall yesterday with Kirsten and I couldn't find anything I liked....well that I liked enough for me to pay for it! haha I'm not asking my parents for any money for school clothes because of Kim's wedding.

And because I am a big girl and can take care of myself.

I paid tuition and books and have $900 left over.

Which I must say is pretty good total I probably earned around $3,000 over the summer....but I don't think it's going to cut it.

I've been praying for help from Heavenly Father. I might have to pick up a second job...I haven't decided yet.

Anyways, I can save money on my new eating plan haha I decided to mainly consist my meals of oatmeal for breakfast and rice and beans for lunch and dinner and as much fruit and veggies as I want!

Yesterday I spent $30 for 2 weeks when usually I would spend $60. So that's a HUGE cut! Plus it's more healthy so it's a good thing all around! It will also be nice because I am not getting paid as much at my new job so things might have to be really tight for awhile.

Maybe no school clothes after all :/ but it will be worth not having to take out a loan if I can help it! If I did my math right I'll be like $500 short...boo. Unless I work something else out which with the Lord it will work out.

So I have been reading my scriptures lately which use to be a habit but slowly has gotten out of it. I get really tired reading the scriptures out of a book but surprisingly it's not like that when I read it from my iTouch! Kim is going wedding dress shopping Saturday!

Woohoo and these are the pictures from my royalty photo shoot thing.

I Have Wedding's Coming Out My Ears!

I don't feel bad at all for planning my wedding now. I kid you not, there are more weddings lately than socks in my drawers. I actually love weddings, except when I know Dallin is leaving and won't be able to remind me how cool ours would be...anyways, so the biggest one lately is Kim getting engaged to Jesse Barton yesterday, Aug. 1st. He took on a scavenger hunt that ended at the temple with him and a ring. At first I was super against those two. haha I always am against Kim's choices but I already feel like Jesse is growing on me. I still don't like that his name. It's like a nic name for Jessica. I was thinking of going by Jessie for short at college but I can't now. That's not really a big deal though. So, anyways um...yeah she is having a rustic country wildflower theme. I love the idea and I can't wait to help her get started! I could seriously go to a wedding every weekend for the rest of the summer. Speaking of summer, it's almost over! I am kind of stressed with school starting. I haven't had anything big to worry about for a long time and now I'm freaking out! I have all my classes chosen. The only problem now is figuring out my work schedule. I am going to work at the electric shop and the classic 89 radio on campus. It will be perfect as soon as I can figure out my schedule. They want me 20 hours a week...which I could do if I quit at the electric shop...I would just feel really bad leaving. I feel like the electric shop is my home because I have worked here for a year and everyone treats me like family. He is going to call me back this week. I might have to take night classes. Ick. But I'm sure hard work will pay off :) I am taking Stats, Physical Science, Living Prophets, Comms 239, Contemporary Dance, and D&C. I might just have to quit at the electric shop....they pay so much better also...so it's a hard decision. I will pray about it. Um....so Dallin's misison is like 23 days away....no big deal right.....ugh. I'm going to miss him so much! He's been my other half for a long time now. I feel like when I need someone to talk some sense into me I talk to him. Now I'm going to be senseless! And I have tried talking to other boys but Dallin is SO unique! They always end up talking about themselves about a problem like their mom or something. I like how me and Dallin talk about general ways of life. About how people are and why they react to things. It's just so much more fulfilling than with others. So, I have a lot to look forward to, until then I can manage. It will be a really good opportunity to work on myself. I know he will come home so much more intelligent and strong and I want to keep up and/or even exceed his expectations (which are probably just being me with a strong testimony but I'll have a six pack and a testimony and a mean dinner menu!) haha I am excited for that time of my life and it is so fun to think about but I need to live in the moment now!...Gol...and this is what weddings do to me!