Another One Bites the Dust--All Aboard the Dallin Train!

Man, I don't know what I was thinking. Let's be honest...did I really think that I could marry anyone else but Dallin? I have never been more determined and focused on waiting for Dallin. I can COMPLETELY understand how girls get married at a year and a half. I still love Dallin, but from what I can remember of him, it's pretty vague. I don't like saying "I know I need to marry Dallin" but I do WANT to really bad still. And I can't see myself falling in love and getting to know someone well enough to marry them before the 9 months are up. Plus, from the past boys that I have dated, I don't think anyone is going to be as good for me as ma boi Dullin. I give at least 70% of the credit to Dallin. His letters keep me going. They are so full of love and hope that it's hard to see how I would want anything else. I give 20% of the credit to myself. Sometimes, I just have to say no. And I give 10% credit to the Littlefield's and other's who are supporting me, and 10% to just not finding anyone right. Whether that be through God, or through fate, either way, no one is doin' it for me. I really do think I will wait. Now, if I don't wait and I have to read this post, I can have a good laugh. If I do wait GOOD JOB GOO!!! WOOHOO!!! I'm so happy for you. :) 

BBQ with the Lil'fields

I went and had a barbeque with the Littlefield's this Sunday! I love this family so much!

Open to Public!

Welcome one and all. I didn't ever think I would make this public. I figure what is it going to hurt though. I feel a bit like I need to be more conservative now. Now, that people will be reading this. Strangers. I am from a small town, and I like normal, no change, same friends, familiar lifestyle. This is stepping out into the world a bit. I don't know why but you should probably know some big things about me. I have a missionary serving for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. I go to Brigham Young University. I am the most predictable Latter Day Saint. With the most predictable life, and I love it. I am confident so if you have questions just ask.

Diary Of A Missionaries Girlfriend

     Well, it has been ages since I have posted last. Now that I have a job over the summer that I have a lot of free downtime though I can now publish a lot more posts. So, this post is going to be about what it has been like being a missionaries girlfriend. So far it is not as hard as everyone says. I have been preparing for this for a long time. I feel this made the transition a lot easier. Months 1-6 were great! I felt like this experience was going to be a breeze. Getting letters was really exciting and I was confident in waiting. I don't think other boys are as cool as Dallin either. They're really nice, but I don't think it's possible to like someone as much as Dallin. He is my first love and we molded each other to perfection (personally). I don't want to get lonely though. That seems to be where everyone else falls off. I am going to go out with these boys. Give them a chance, and if I don't feel like they are as fit for me as Dallin. I won't date them, and if I do...I'll get married to someone and be stupid. :)
     Now that you have gotten the run down of what it is like to date and be a missionaries girlfriend. I want to shed some light on the feelings of my "mg" experience. In some ways I feel like I am still dating Dallin. I love him and I let him know through emails and supporting him the best I can. At the same time though, I am way too lonely to claim having a boyfriend. So, there is a contradiction in my head on how to handle myself. I have faith though that the things that I am learning now will help me in the future. I don't feel like I am wasting time. I feel this is the best thing for me to do at this time. One of these days I will write a post with all of the cute things Dallin has said in his letters and you will see how special I still feel. I am so glad to have my missionary. He is by far the best thing that has happened to me. I am blessed!

About You in 2011 :)

-This is last years about you, I will write a new one each year.

Hey best friend! Glad you are interested in what you can learn about yourself! I would say you and I are sincere with other people and mostly with yourself. Let me explain, I sometimes play this game with myself where I don't think I can handle as much as I really can. I let myself slack off because I think I can't do it anymore instead of pushing through it. I can work on that. So, I also think I am very confident and outgoing! Once I came to BYU I was challenged with this. But, I've come out knowing that people like me and want me to be their friend so gotta just believe it myself. I am super funny haha :) to myself at least. I think I'm pretty legit. It's not like I don't have insecurities but I know that regardless of my downfalls I still have so much value and potential and beauty that hard things don't seem to be over bearing as they do to others. I remain hopeful and confident when trials come. Hopeful...Dallin Chad is my greatest example of hope. We've gotten in some sticky mud and he's always been able to pull us out and keep pushing. No matter what happens with me while he's on his mission I will forever be grateful towards him for teaching me hope. He also has taught me to keep trying. :) Well enough about him more about me right! haha jk so obsviously Dallin is my boyfriend, Chelsea Dalton is my best friend and my roommates (who I LOVE) are Vanessa, Paige, Kim, Kristy and Kirsten! My life is surrounded by the coolest people ever! Including my awesome family :) as of right now Stephani is the only one married and has been for the past year to a way awesome guy Pablo! Kim will probably be next to marry to Jesse Barton and shortly following that Adam I am sure will jump on the band wagon with his girl Amy. So...basically before Dallin gets home everyone will most likely be married so...cool :/ blah. Chelsea will be married to Alex too. And if all of this doesn't work out like I said...I'll be very surprised! Welcome to life right? haha And I can't even start to talk about my family without mentioning the very people who brought me into this lovely world. Mom and Dad of course! I love em, what more can I say! Dad is trying to remain involved in his kids life in everyway he can :) and mother is loving each of us like always! And my Father in Heaven. I still don't comprehend how much he loves me and don't know if I ever will, but the small understanding I have of it so far is enough to blow my mind. He is incredibly merciful. I have felt it's over and he sends angels to comfort me. He never gives up on me and knowing that pushes me forward. I was asked to set my priorities in church, so if I could choose it would be Church, Family, School, Relationships...truthfully it goes Relationships, Family, Church, School. So we'll have to work on that :) I look forward for the future. I've got a bright and happy future ahead if I continue trying my best to obey my Father in Heaven. I love ma life!

It's a New Year!

I am way excited for this next year! I have a feeling a lot of great things are going to happen. I hope to fall in love, begin to become the person I've always wanted to be, and make a lot of new friends! My new years resolutions are taking a picture everyday, writing in my journal everyday, and not eating any chocolate. So far so good! This is the year I won't see Dallin at all. And I have a very positive attitude about it! In February, next month on the 26th it will be 6 months since he has left, 1/4 of the way through his whole mission! It's going by fast! I am counting in 6 month marks! Which are clearly going by way way fast! I am feeling really positive about life right now! Money is really tight, but I have so much to be grateful for. Heck, I am grateful for being grateful! I have direction and passion and love in my life, and a lot of people are lacking in all three. I am really happy. I think a year from now, I will basically be the same but hopefully just more on the ball with things. I think keeping a journal will be good to help me see my growth. Well, there is a lot to be happy about. I hope to help those around me see the beauty in their life as well. I think even the small things that could upset your whole day can be change with the attitude, it will all work out in the end, just keep working. I am so happy :)

I wanted to write Dallin a letter but I don't think I should write him two so I will put it to good use and put it on here :)

Elder

I am sorry you had a rough week…actually I am sorry every week seems to have some really hard lows, but I hope you know I am very proud of you. I am so happy you always keep trying, that is something I just love about you. You never give up and even more than just enduring you continue to want to grow and ask for more hard times because you understand what they do for you. You are really smart and I know God is so pleased with the work you are performing out there. Keep it up!
So about this companion ha by the time you get this he will basically be gone so I don’t really have much to say. But, I am glad you had a hard companion that way “if we get married’’ and heaven forbid I ever get on your nerves I’ll just refer to this companion and you will worship me like a God! Haha seriously I am sure some day you will look back and laugh and appreciate the time you had with him. I talked to my mom about it and she nailed it right on the head acutally. She said “Usually when someone is hard and cold like that it is because they have gone through something really challenging, and it’s really important to love them because they are the ones that need your love the most.” So maybe these last couple days with him you can just love the crap out of him! You are really good at serving and loving so you probably already do things but really go above and beyond.
Um…so I still don’t know what you like to hear about….I am doing fine woohoo it’s my birthday! I am no longer a mere teenager! Haha I didn’t feel like one before anyways but I guess now my age is catching up to me! For my birthday I got new boots and tires and my parents are helping me with tuition…yay for growing up! My mom and I are going to festival of tree’s as usual and then probably dinner. So…I might take off next semester and just work then go to school in the summer at BYU Hawaii (if I get accepted of course). It’s actually kind of stressing me out what to do…I don’t want to take time off because of money because once I graduate I will be making a LOT more than right now and I can pay it off quicker then…unless I get married and I have to be someone’s sugar momma ;) anyways…I have been praying pretty hard about what to do. So from here I’ll go with the flow and follow my gut. God will let me know what to do I am very confident. Another thing I have been thinking about lately is going on a mission. I still have a year but really only 9 months and I’ll start preparing now no matter what. You never can learn to much about the gospel right! Haha to be honest the only reason I wouldn’t is because of you…and if the spirit told me not to. But I will also just go with the flow and make the decision when it is closer. I was hoping actually once you got on your mission you would change your mind about not waiting for me and say I had to go because it’s so fun haha I don’t think you’d say it’s fun now though. I have noticed my thinking is expanding on the possibilities of what I can do! I want to travel really bad. Like go on a study abroad or go to school at Hawaii or a mission. It’s different now that I don’t have someone tying me back and I feel as long as I keep moving around the less chance I have of getting tied down again because I want to be here when you get back!
For thanksgiving I went to Blanding. We went and saw Indian ruins it was fun. Ugh I could write to you all day but I want a response so I better get off so you can wish me happy birthday and tell me how much you love me haha Keep up the good work! I really do love you and I am really proud of how hard you are working! Tell Elder Nembaware hi and bye for me :)

Goo